


7 times, Good and Bad

by Mufffy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Anyways, Cheating, Crushes, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shatt Week 2018, Swearing, Texting, chapters 5 through 7 are just bad tbh, did that pass-, i dont blame you if you hate them too, i wrote a lot of this isntead of sleeping, just hair color, not a morning person™ matt, only chapter 1 is set after season 6, shiro calls matt pancakes, shrugs, sleepy matt, slight season 6 spoilers, sorry cant make me think otherwise, uh, um its like 4am, wedding proposals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: I know Shatt week was like,, not this week- But uh,, im still doing 7 chapters with 7 prompts that my friends gave me !!Chapter 1 - NightmaresChapter 2 - StargazingChapter 3 - Online meet upChapter 4 - Wedding proposalChapter 5 - Garrison daysChapter 6 - Break upChapter 7 - Reunion





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of graphic description of violence in chapter 1 !!! Talk of blood and some organs, please skip if you're uncomfortable
> 
> 1209 words !

_He took a shuddering breath, snapping his eyes open to look around slowly. Black. He turned, his feet feeling like they’d give in any second. Shiro. He could hear his name being echoed. It became jumbled in the mess of unsynchronized chanting until he caught onto a familiar name. Champion. Champion. Champion. Shiro clutched his head as it pounded, pushing the name and memories through his head._

_Champion._

_Champion._

_“No” Shiro whispered, scratching at his scalp. He gasped and flinched when thousands of more voices sounded around him. Screams and laughter echoing in his head, mocking him. He took a large shuddering breath as the ground shook under him. His breath quickened, trying to focus on where he was. It was dark and cold. His legs were shivering, threatening to betray him._

_He took a shaky step forward, trying to see where he was. The cheering never got quieter as he stumbled his way around, feeling dirt and sand under him. He looked down, noticing the familiar purple and ragged clothing._

_He snapped his head up to see he was in the gladiator arena. The room spun as he felt sick. There was no possible way to be there. He was at home, in bed, lying peacefully asleep. They’d gotten back home at earth. They were safe. They were alive and fine. Everyone was fine. So why was Shiro here?_

_Shiro looked down at his hands, seeing the galra arm. It moved in front of him without his control making him blink rapidly in confusion. He pointed to someone in front of him. Matt. Shiro’s eyes grew wide with terror as Matt trembled in fear. He looked terrified and cartoonishly betrayed. His face dripped with sweat as Shiro and he stared at one another._

_Shiro surprised himself when he started running towards Matt. He was expecting to go and hug him, but once his arm took a swing at Matt without his control he panicked. Matt screamed and jumped away in time, but was still in obvious fear. Shiro turned to his left to see Matt crying. He turned his right hand in his direction, watching at Matt leaned back, falling to the ground._

_“Matt-” Shiro gasped, his eyes growing wide as Matt got up to run. He tried stopping his feet, he really did, but something else was controlling him as he bolted after Matt, his hand glowing a bright pink._

_“Why are you doing this?!” Matt screamed, turning to look at him before Shiro took a swing, almost hitting his arm. Matt sobbed as he turned, running around Shiro for more room to run. He was panting and heaving as he ran. Shiro knew Matt wouldn’t last long._

_“I’m not- Matt I’m sorry!” Shiro screamed as he ran after Matt again. When Matt tripped and rolled on his back, Shiro panicked. Whatever was controlling him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to control it. Shiro slid next to Matt, holding him down as he hovered above him, holding his glowing hand above Matt’s body._

In _that moment, Shiro felt cold. His body trembled as he was about to do something he never wanted to do. The cheers finally stilled in his mind as his hand froze in the air. It was almost as if it was quieter so he could hear Matt’s sobs and pleas._

_“..I-I don’t wanna die Kashi” Matt whispered, tears slipping down his face “I don’t wanna die..” He whispered again, closing his eyes tightly._

_Time slowed. Cheers became quieter. Everything went dark. It’s almost as if it got quiet just so when Shiro’s hand came down to Matt’s chest he heard the blood sizzle and his bones crack. The sound mixed with Matt’s scream made Shiro cringe as he looked down at his best friend, his face was disorienting, the beautiful bright orange in his eyes faded to a dark brown. Shiro frowned as he pushed his hand in again to hear Matt’s tortured scream one last time._

________________________

 

Shiro woke with a shuddering gasp, his heartbeat in his ears and covered in sweat. He combed his fingers through his hair, rubbing his forehead as he leaned on his knees, steadying his breathing. He jumped at the touch of a hand on his shoulder, turning to see Matt. Matt looked tired and concerned, his eyebrows close together as he pushed the blankets away to sat on his knees closer to Shiro.

“Oh, Matt..” Shiro whispered, his voice threatening to break. Matt was about to talk when Shiro pulled him into a hug, grabbing his sides a little too tightly “I’m so sorry..” He whispered. Matt paused, raising his arms to hold Shiro’s neck, rubbing his back “I’m so so, terribly sorry-” Shiro stopped to sob, lowering his face into Matt’s shoulder.

“Sh, hey, it’s okay... You didn’t do anything wrong, it was just a nightmare. I’m okay, you’re okay, you’re gonna be just fine okay, baby?” he whispered, kissing Shiro’s temple “It’s okay..”

Shiro shook his head, thinking back to the loud cheering and the crunching of Matt’s chest. The way the bones crunched into his organs, puncturing them “Shiro..” Matt whispered breathlessly, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly “Shiro..let go-” Shiro immediately let go, watching Matt take a breath, one hand staying on Shiro’s shoulder as the other went to his side, feeling around.

Shiro felt tears welling in his eyes as one landed on Matt’s arm “I’m sorry..” He whispered.

“It’s okay” Matt looked up, letting go of his side “It’s gonna be okay, It was just a nightmare” He whispered, reaching both hands up to Shiro’s cheeks, brushing away his tears “I’m here. And nothing’s going to change that..” He smiled softly, kissing the scar on Shiro’s nose before pulling him into his chest “It’s okay..” He whispered again, stroking his fingers through Shiro’s white hair.

Shiro sat there, taking everything in before slowly wrapping his arms back around Matt “I.. I’m sorry I’m weak” He mumbled, knowing he shouldn’t be crying at a time like this.

“Kashi, you are not weak” He mumbled “Everyone has nightmares, some worse than others and some people cry, harder than others” Matt smiled, pulling Shiro’s head between his chin and shoulder “Everyone has limits” He whispered, rubbing Shiro’s cheek with his thumb “And your’s just isn’t the same as everyone else’s- and that’s okay..”

Shiro smiled, closing his eyes briefly “Thank you, Matt” He mumbled, his fingers entangling themselves in the fabric of Matt’s oversized shirt. He looked at it again because realizing it was his own and grinned. He shook his head a little and yawned.

“Did you just wipe your snot on me?” Matt muttered before laughing softly.

Shiro sat up and smiled at him “No, not yet” He grinned.

“Ew, go back to sleep” Matt laughed, hugging Shiro close before falling onto his side.

Shiro laughed too, hugging Matt’s waist, his face near his chest. He smiled, pulling Matt just a little closer to cuddle. He thought back to his nightmare one last time before reassuring it was only a nightmare and all that it would be.

“Tired..?” Matt mumbled, stringing his fingers through Shiro’s hair.

“..Yeah” Shiro mumbled before closing his eyes, smiling as he drifted off.


	2. Star gazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: this is like 1100 words and its way too short  
> also me: this flows really well and i lovve it ??
> 
> also also me: its 1 am and im about to fall asleep why am i up um what evem

Matt woke up to the familiar whisper and wide smile of his best friend, and boyfriend, Shiro. Shiro was smiling down at him, wide awake and dressed in hoodie and jeans from what Matt would make out without his glasses.

“Get up” Shiro whispered again as Matt yawned, reaching his hand up to rub his eye “Matt..” Shiro mumbled.

“Hm..” Matt laid his arm down, squinting, tiredly up at Shiro with a small pout “Why?”

“Please” Shiro smiled, crouching by the bed to be near his face “You’re already dressed, just come with me? Please. Just for tonight?” Shiro pouted slightly, moving Matt’s hand with his nose like a dog. Matt laughed softly before groaning, rolling on his side “You better be getting up” He whispered.

Matt smiled, staring at him before leaning forward a little, pressing his lips to Shiro’s. Soft and sweet “I am, slowly, but surely” He mumbled, sticking his arm out cautiously over the edge of the bed “Where're my glasses?” He yawned again, tempted to pull the sheets back up to his neck and curl up. Oh, that’d be a nice night.

Cold metal being pressed in his hand brought him back from his sleep high, sadly. He yawned another time before putting them, the cold metal awkwardly sitting on his face “What time is it even, I’m so tired” Matt mumbled, pushing the blankets off his legs, instantly regretting it when he remembered he wore shorts to bed last night.

“Around two give or take” Shiro whispered.

Matt wanted to turn and smack Shiro in the face, stopping himself as he sat up on his elbows to squint at him in the dim room instead “What?!” He whispered screamed before he took his glasses off and dropped them on the floor before rolling over, pulling the blanket over his shoulders to get comfortable again.

“No- Matt” She laughed softly as he picked up Matt’s glasses “I’ll do anything, just come with me, just one hour, actually- like.. Twenty minutes. I promise you can sleep after” Shiro mumbled, crawling onto the bed.

“Go away” Matt muttered, feeling Shiro put his glasses on. When Matt reached up to take them off, Shiro grabbed his hand and held it to the bed “Shiro it’s too early for sexy times” He whispered, half asleep.

Shiro made a note not to snort “Come on, I’ll carry you if I have to” Shiro whispered, pulling the blankets down “Please? It’s important to me..”

“Oh no,” Matt whispered, pulling the blankets back over his head “You’re doing the cute pouty face- no, I’m not doing it..”

“Matt..” Shiro pouted even though Matt couldn’t see it. He knew he could hear it.

Matt groaned softly as he looked up “..Fuck me” He muttered.

“I thought it was too early for sexy time” Shiro smirked, crawling off the bed before ripping the blankets off of Matt. Matt curled up a little and mumbled under his breath, glancing at Shiro before laying his head back down “Matt please, I really love this..”

Matt sighed as he sat up, glaring at him “What is it, exactly?”

“It’s a surprise!” Shiro smiled, noticing Matt going to lay back down “No wait- Please, come on” Shiro smiled when Matt sat back up and dangled his feet off the edge of the bed “Is that a yes?”

“It’s a ‘you’re not going to leave me alone until I do whatever the hell it is you want me to do’ is what it is” Matt muttered, rubbing his arms that gained goosebumps in the mere two minutes.

“The quicker you come, the quicker you can go back to bed” Shiro promised, grabbing Matt’s hands.

“Don’t rush me” Matt laughed softly before climbing off the bed, keeping ahold of one of his hands “Lead the way, hyper kid”

“I’m excited, leave me alone” Shiro grinned as he grabbed his phone and Matt’s hand in his other, opening the garrison door to their dorm. He glanced up and down the halls before heading down one, leading Matt quickly through the halls. Matt couldn’t help but notice how cold it was, how his and Shiro’s bare feet hit the ground, echoing through the quiet halls. He squeezed Shiro’s hand, realizing how cold he was then.

Shiro stopped in front of a door, making Matt look up “..We’re going to the roof?” He mumbled, watching Shiro nod before he opened the door “Aren’t students not supposed to be up here past lights out? Or in general..” Matt frowned.

“We’re not” Shiro smiled, nudging Matt to go ahead of him as they walked “Your dad is” Shiro smirked, showing him the card with his father’s face and barcode on it.

“You’re using my dad’s card? Wow, I feel betrayed but also proud” Matt smirked “Such a bad boy, I have” he joked.

“Shut up and follow me” Shiro laughed, opening the roof door with Sam’s card, only looking back to stick his hand out for Matt, leading him to a pile of something on the roof. Matt let go of Shiro’s hand, going ahead of him to find a blanket and pillows “Surprise” Shiro whispered, taking his hand again, pulling him down to sit with him.

Matt smiled, moving to sit next to Shiro instead of across and look up at the stars. It wasn’t until he was them sparkling that he gaped “Whoa..” he whispered.

“I thought you’d like to see it” Shiro whispered, bending to kiss Matt’s cheek.

Matt grinned, hitting Shiro’s side before pushing him down to lay down. Shiro eventually laid down, Matt laying next to him, leaning on his arm partially. Shiro moved his arm around Matt as they pointed to stars and constellations. 

“I love it..” Matt whispered, putting an arm around Shiro’s torso “Thank you” 

Shiro smiled, feeling slightly prideful as he stared up at the starry sky. It was quiet and peaceful, except for the soft music Shiro put on. Matt looked at his phone before leaning over his chest, turning down just a little more before getting comfortable on his chest again. Shiro smiled, reaching up to comb his fingers through Matt’s hair.

“I’m cold” Matt mumbled, curling up to Shiro’s side. Shiro sighed softly and pulled away for a second to take off his hoodie, handing it to Matt. Matt smiled, gladly taking it and pulling it over his head as he cuddling into it. Shiro laid back down, keeping his arm up until Matt laid back down, curling up to him again “Thank you”

Shiro rolled his eyes, messing with his hair instead as he stared up. A few more minutes passed as Shiro stared and watched the stars, some twinkling and others rotating and shifting. It was such a beautiful sight that when he asked Matt if wanted to go inside, he wasn’t even surprised to find Matt asleep on him.


	3. Online meet up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> / based off how i wanna meet my bf cough /
> 
> 1652 words, and im actually proud

_ Tapioca pudding 2:27 AM: Are you excited? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:28 AM Nervous really... _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:28 AM: It’s okay _

_ Tapioca pudding 2:28 AM: I’m gonna be right there soon  _

 

Matt felt his heart pounding as he laid in bed, near to hyperventilating. He was supposed to meet his online best friend of six years and boyfriend of three. He really did want to meet Shiro. They’d talked about it before, but when Matt’s dad said he actually would take Matt, he cried and immediately texted Shiro. He lived his whole life through a screen, thanks to Shiro.

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:30 AM: You okay ?? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:31 AM: Wow, im gone for like three minutes and you get clingy _

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:31 AM: I love clingy boyfriends <3 _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:32 AM: I hate you _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:32 AM: How dare you say that to your boyfriend of three years _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:33 AM: Isn’t it like 2 in the morning over there?? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:33 AM: Maybe _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:33 AM: You’re impossible, go to sleep _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:34 AM: But you just woke up… _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:34 AM: I know, i’m sorry, but you need to sleep too _

_ Tapioca pudding 2:34 AM: We talk again in the morning, remember, when its 2am there it’s 11pm here <3 _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:35 AM: I’ll be there tomorrow.. Night? _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 2:35 AM: About, yeah, now get some sleep! _

_ Tapioca pudding 2:35 AM: Be safe _

_ Tapioca pudding 2:36 AM: I love you <3 _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 2:36 AM: Blarg.. Good night kashi, i love you too <3 _

 

Matt sighed happily as he set his phone down, smiling widely. Finally, after almost a month of planning and summer break, Matt could finally meet his best friend. He felt like squealing like a school girl with a crush, expect it was so much better. Soon he’d be face to face with Shiro and get to see him in real life. It’d be the best thing ever.

 

As excited as he was getting, he rolled over and tried to sleep the best he could from nerves.

 

_____________________

 

When Matt woke up he might as well have been screaming and running around the house, anxiously fidgeting. Probably because he was.

 

“Matthew, please sit down” Colleen laughed softly “You’re going to use all your energy on running and being nervous instead of using it to hang out with your friend”

 

“I’m sorry, mom” Matt mumbled, sitting down on the kitchen counter before getting up again “It’s just- What if he doesn’t like me like he thought he would? What if he’s just disappointed- and we came all this way for nothing and what if he cancels and says he doesn’t want me to meet him!” Matt gasped, clutching it tightly as it buzzed, making him nearly scream “He hates me!” Matt whined.

 

Pidge sighed as she took the phone, looking back up at him “He can’t wait to meet you” She mumbled before walking past him.

 

_ Tapioca pudding 8:12 AM: I can’t wait for you to get here <3 _

_ Tapioca pudding 8:12 AM: My mom is saying i’m acting like a child again _

_ Tapioca pudding 8:13 AM: I am eightEEN MOTHER _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 8:13 AM: Aren’t you actually like four and a half ?? _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 8:13 AM: NO _

_ Tapioca pudding 8:14 AM: I’M AN ADULT _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 8:14 AM: shiro you’re 4 _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 8:14 AM: babe please _

 

“Your face is red” Sam mumbled as he passed, rubbing Matt’s head, going into the kitchen to pour some coffee.

 

“Oh-” Matt mumbled, looking up.

 

“Did he call you babe again?” Pidge smiled.

 

“No-” He muttered.

 

“Show me then” Pidge smirked,

 

“..Maybe” Matt muttered, scratching the back of his head “So maybe I really like it when he uses nicknames!” He muttered “I’m just so excited to see him.. Finally” He mumbled, smiling.

 

“Alright, we’ll get breakfast on the way, let’s go” Sam mumbled sleepily as he pushed himself off the counter.

 

“But pancakes-” Pidge whined, pouting.

 

“But Shiro!” Matt laughed before running upstairs to grab his bags.

 

Needless to say, the plane ride was terrible. Sam and Colleen sat together while Pidge and Matt sat next together. He couldn’t text on the plane, but he was so tempted to a few times. He really wanted to video call or just call in general. He’d do that when the plane landed.

 

When the plane finally  _ did _ land, Matt was shaking and panicking. The jet lack could wait.

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:37 AM: It’s like I time traveled _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:37 AM: Omg you’re in california right now ?? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:38 AM: Well it sure isn’t Florida _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:38 AM: S c r e a m s _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:39 AM: You’re like not far away anymore ?? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:39 AM: Not at all !! _

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:39 AM: I’m gonna finally see you.. Ahhhh _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:40 AM: I’m waiting like, right by the gates ?? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:40 AM: I think I’m gonna cry _

 

“Matt, don’t cry”

 

“Shut up, Katie”

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:41 AM: Image sent _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:41 AM: AW, PLEASE DON’T CRY OMG _

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:41 AM: You really hot while crying though wtf _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:42 AM: I’m gonna finally see you and hug you and kiss you _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:42 AM: Is it okay if i kiss you ?? _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:42 AM: Like i’ve wanted to for a year um _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:43 AM: I’m so gonna kiss you _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:43 AM: If you’re okay with it that is _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:43 AM: I dont wanna make you uncomfortable _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:43 AM: Omg im rambling im so sorry im nervous _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:44 AM: It’s okay !! Yes you can kiss me and same im so nervous _

 

Matt glanced up as they waited for their bags, glancing around. His eyes shifted from person to person by the exits, searching for black hair with a white streak.

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:45 AM: I’m like, actually about to scream hhh _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:45 AM: Same, I’m like ,, _

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:45 AM: Looking for your hair _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:46 AM: Omf, im uh, wearing a stars wars shirt and black jacket _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:46 AM: Uh, im wearing a space shirt but im wearing a green flannel thing over it ?? _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:47 AM: Lime green ? _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:47 AM: Yeah ! _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:47 AM: I see you _

 

_ Matt paused and looked up, searching for Shiro as his phone buzzed again. _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:48 AM: Oh you looked up _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:48 AM: No, you’re looking back down again _

 

_ Strawberry yogurt 11:48 AM: WHERE ARE YOU UH ????? _

 

_ Tapioca pudding 11:49 AM: I’m to your,, left? No right, I see the side of your face _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:49 AM: Omg you’re gorgeous _

_ Tapioca pudding 11:50 AM: turN YOUR HEAD OM G _

 

Matt smiled softly before looking up, looking to his right, his left and back to his right when he saw a glimpse of Shiro’s hair. He spotted Shiro right then and there, staring up at him. The Shiro looked up from his phone and gasped, making eye contact. Matt nearly choked, opening his mouth a second before closing it, taking short and quick breaths.

 

“Matt?” Sam put a hand on his shoulder. Matt only looked at his dad a second before looking back to Shiro. Sam followed his gaze and smiled “Go, we’ll be right behind you” He smiled.

 

“Really..?” Matt whispered, turning to his dad. He looked back at Shiro, tears spilling from his eyes. He quickly handed his phone to his dad before running away from him and around the baggage return to Shiro. He stopped a few feet away, staring at Shiro with wide eyes.

 

Shiro slid his phone into his pocket, breathing deeply as he smiled widely at Matt, tears obviously falling from his eyes. Matt laughed and took a step before running to Shiro. Shiro laughed as he ran, opening his arms for impact. Once Matt hit his chest, hugging him tightly, Shiro wrapped him in a tight hug, picking him up to spin him once, holding him close.

 

Matt breathed in his chest, holding his neck tightly before crawling higher to look into his eyes. Matt grinned, bringing a hand up to wide Shiro’s tears away before holding his cheeks, both hands rubbing his cheeks. He bit his lip a little, studying Shiro’s face “I.. H-hi” Matt whispered.

 

“Oh my god your voice is so high” Shiro whispered.

 

“Oh my god your’s is so soft and gentle- Oh my god that’s so hot” Matt laughed, blushing a little.

 

“Dude your blush is so much brighter in person” Shiro laughed, tightening his grip on Matt’s waist “And you’re so short like- oh wow” he mumbled.

 

Matt laughed and smiled, touching Shiro’s white hair “Holy shit it’s so soft like silk” He mumbled, pushing his hair away from his face.

 

Shiro smiled, pulling Matt up so he was on one foot, trying to stand on his toes, pressing his lips to Matt’s with a wide smile.

 

Matt jumped under the feeling before smiling, hugging Shiro’s neck tightly before pulling away, hugging him tightly. Shiro smiled, burying his face into Matt’s neck, hugging his waist tight to his chest. Matt smiled against Shiro’s shoulder, burying his face in Shiro’s shoulder.

 

“I love you..” Shiro whispered quickly, reaching up to run a hand through Matt’s strawberry blonde hair.

 

“I love you too” Matt whispered quickly, squeezing him for a second before laughing softly

 

Six years worth of waiting.


	4. Wedding proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it took me like,, a day to realize i have no idea how weddings work because ive only been to 2 and i was 11 and dont remember the second one when i was 14 sO,, have this instead
> 
> its really bad and i honestly am not happy with it all that much but fUCK IT
> 
> 1708 words !

_ “Hey, Matthew?” _

 

_ “Yeah Kashi?” _

 

_ “Who do you think you’re gonna marry someday?” Shiro mumbled. _

 

_ “Huh.. I never thought about that” Matt whispered “I’m only sixteen after all, so I imagine I have some time to kill” _

 

_ “Yeah, but no one at the garrison really.. Likes us, you know?” _

 

_ “More like me- Have you seen yourself, Shiro? Tall, handsome, smart, nice, You’re literally the perfect guy for anyone” _

 

_ Shiro laughed, looking at Matt’s slightly annoyed face “I don’t think so, I don’t think I wanna marry anyone here, let alone date them” _

 

_ “I’m slightly offended, Taka”  _

 

_ “Besides you, I guess..” _

 

_ “That works really, if you don’t like anyone here, and I’m your best friend, just marry me” _

 

_ “But what if I fall in love with someone else?” _

 

_ “Then get a divorce with me?” _

 

_ “Sounds complicated” Shiro muttered. _

 

_ Matt huffed and leaned back so he was laying down on the roof with Shiro “Then set an age, if we’re both thirty and still single, let’s just marry each other” _

 

_ Shiro blinked up at the stars before looking at Matt “Are you seriously proposing to me?” _

 

_ “Proposing an option” Matt smiled, looking at him “I’m just saying, if you’re getting old and still single, why not spend the rest of your life with your best friend?” _

 

_ “You.. make a fair point” Shiro mumbled “Alright. Come fourteen years, if we’re both single, we’ll marry each other” _

 

_ “Promise?” _

 

_ “You sound like you’re in love with me” Shiro teased. _

 

_ “I mean, I love you, you’re my best friend, and I’m sure I’d probably be heartbroken if something ever happened to you, but loving and being in love is different still” _

 

_ “Whoa, don’t go and get technical and existential on me” _

 

_ “Sorry” _

 

_ “It’s okay, but.. Yeah… I promise” _

 

_ “Pinky promise?” _

 

_ “I promised Matt, now quit” _

 

_ “You have to pinky promise me man” _

 

_ “You’re sixteen years old” _

 

_ “My little sister has worn off on me” _

 

_ “Fine, I promise” He muttered, sticking his finger out to feel Matt’s pinky interlock with his. _

 

_ “You know.. I love you Shiro, sometimes more than a friend” _

 

_ “I love you too Matt.. maybe as more than a friend, as well” _

 

_____________________

  
  


Shiro took deep breaths as he pulled on his hoodie strings, nearly choking himself before Matt took his hands away and fixed it again “Sorry” he mumbled quickly.

 

“Why are you so nervous?” He frowned.

 

“No reason..” Shiro mumbled, biting his nail. He was still single, even after thirteen, he was thirty and Matt was twenty-nine. He’s sure Matt forgot by now because just last month he asked Matt was going to get married any time soon and Matt said he’s probably going to die alone.

 

“You’re lying” Matt crossed his arms.

 

“I just.. I don’t know, I’m over thinking this simple thing and it really shouldn’t matter since he said he did want to, but I’m also really scared if he was serious or not because he obviously doesn’t remember it!” Shiro sighed “Sorry, I’m getting worried over quite a few things, I just- I think he still likes me, but i’m not sure, but I mean, like.. We had this thing-”

 

“Whoa whoa, slow down- Who are you even talking about?” Matt laughed softly.

 

“I can’t tell you” Shiro frowned.

 

Matt dropped his smile and stared up at him “..What’s actually wrong? I’ve never seen you this nervous..” He mumbled “Something is up with you, and you’re not telling me and that makes me nervous.. We share everything”

 

“We do! And- I can’t tell you because this guy I like- Like, really like, and we’re.. I don’t know how to explain!” Shiro groaned.

 

“..You make no sense sometimes” Matt muttered and smiled before walking out of the room.

 

Shiro groaned as he rubbed his eyes before pulling out his phone.

 

_ Shirogayne 9:23 PM: Allura _

_ Shirogayne 9:23 PM: Allura _

_ Shirogayne 9:23 PM: Allura _

_ Shirogayne 9:23 PM: Allura _

_ Shirogayne 9:24 PM: Allura _

_ Shirogayne 9:24 PM: Allura _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:24 PM: FUCKING WHAT _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:27 PM: Okay so back in high school when me and Matt were like 16 we made this promise that if we werent married or in a relationship by the time we’re 30 we’d marry each other but the thing is i still like him like, a fucking LOT and by when we were teens he said he liked me as more than a friend and i told him i did too and im scared he chenged his mind because im still hopelessly in love and im not sure if he still likes/ loves me or if he doesnt and i feel stupid if i m gonna propose and him say no or say he was joking so whAT DO I DO _

_ Shirogayne 9:27 PM: YOU’RE A GIRL, YOU KNOW FEELINGS _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:29 PM: That is…. Quite the situation you got yourself into _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:29 PM: Yes now help me _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:30 PM: Just ask him about it ??? _

_ Princess of mice 9:30 PM: Just ask if he remembers the bet and ask if he still wants to get married _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:31 PM: I can’t just do that! _

_ Shirogayne 9:31 PM: Can I? _

_ Shirogayne 9:32 PM: No, I can’t! _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:32 PM: Well then you’re royally screwed.. _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:33 PM: Nooo, you have to help me! _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:33 PM: How am I gonna help ?? _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:33 PM: Idk, tell him about the promise and ask if he wants to marry me ?? _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:34 PM: Did you just ask me to propose to your boyfriend for you ??? _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:34 PM: He’s not my boyfriend  _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:34 PM: You’re avoiding my question _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:35 PM: Are you gonna help me or not? _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:35 PM: Look, i’ve never been in this situation, but when you go to bed just casually ask him _

_ Princess of mice 9:36 PM: Just bring up the promise and ask him _

_ Princess of mice 9:36 PM: What’s the worst that could happen? _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:37 PM: I lose my best friend of literally 25 years _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:37 PM: Well when you put it that way it doesn’t sound worth it .. _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:38 PM: Ahhhhh _

_ Shirogayne 9:38 PM: I think i’m actually gonna cry ugh _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:39 PM: Just go for it! You’ll get a big wedding and maybe a kid and a dog too _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:39 PM: Stop planning my future! _

 

_ Princess of mice 9:39 PM: I’ll stop when you ask him about the promise!! _

 

_ Shirogayne 9:40 PM: FINE _

 

Shiro frowned as he put his phone in his pocket, walking into the living room where Matt was sitting up on the couch, watching their tv intensely. He walked behind the couch, leaning on the back of it “What are you watching?”

 

“Say yes to the dress, it’s like, this show where brides pick out dresses and stuff. It’s pretty cool if you’re having a wedding. I just like to watch the gay best friends nit pick” He laughed.

 

Shiro cursed the universe as he walked around the couch and sat next to Matt, throwing his arms behind the couch as Matt leaned into him. Shiro squinted at him, thinking it was a sign, but couldn’t be sure “Do you think you’d wear a dress to your wedding?”

 

Matt laughed, bringing his legs up to fold next to him as he sat “Considering i’m not getting married, probably not even a suit” he smiled.

 

Shiro hummed and stayed quiet, watching the show before taking a deep breath, swallowing his butterflies “Actually.. Do you uh. Remember our promise. Back in high school?” Shiro whispered.

 

Matt looked down at their carpet before looking at him “Uh.. no?” He mumbled, looking back to the tv.

 

“Well.. we made a promise that by the time we were thirty and still single we’d just marry each other. Remember?”

 

Matt stayed quiet as he leaned back into Shiro’s arm, shrugging “Yeah.. we pinky promised on the roof, didn’t we?” He mumbled.

 

“Yeah, we did” Shiro smiled softly.

 

“Yup,” Matt whispered, keeping his eyes locked onto the screen.

 

“..Are we gonna talk about it or..?”

 

“Look,” Matt sighed, leaning away from him “I loved you back then” Shiro felt his heartstrings pull, practically snapping in half “I loved you a lot and.. I didn’t think you’d remember back then, so I pushed it from my memory, and.. I really hoped you’d forget because I still love you and wish I could’ve told you before, but.. I don’t know. It’s a mess, Kashi” He mumbled, going to stand up.

 

“Wait- wait, wait” Shiro reached forward to grab his shoulder “No, wait, okay, I agree this is a mess, but can we agree that we both like each other then?”

 

Matt stopped to look at him “..We do?”

 

“I mean.. You love me and- ..And I love you, if it wasn’t obvious”

 

“Then.. yes. We both love each other”

 

“Nice..”

 

“Nice” Matt mumbled, leaning back.

 

“So.. Will you marry me?”

 

Matt stared up at him, his eyes slightly watering before he smiled widely and nodded “Yeah..” He whispered, “Yes, yes- Yes!” He laughed, rubbing his eyes a little “I’d like that” He mumbled.

 

“I’d love it!” Shiro laughed, leaning forward to kiss him before stopping and leaning back, Matt leaning forward a little before shrugging. 

 

“You wanna like..” Matt mumbled, leaning forward before scrunching his shoulders up “We’re- I.. We’re fucking thirty!” Matt screamed, frowning.

 

“And we still don’t know how to kiss” Shiro mumbled.

 

“I’ve never had a first kiss anyways” Matt muttered, glancing away.

 

“Oh, we’ve gotta change that now” Shiro whispered, leaning forward to actually press his lips to Matt’s this time. Matt sat awkwardly, his face heating up as he tilted his head a little, closing his eyes as he got comfortable. As soon as he got comfortable, Shiro pulled away, leaving Matt in a slight daze.

 

“This is actually happening, huh..?” Matt whispered.

 

“Yeah.. And I think I’m gonna enjoy it” Shiro smiled.

 

“..Me too” Matt smiled back.


	5. Garrison Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCREAMS it's pretty shitty tbh  
> sorry its like 4 days late (even though i dont have an update scedule)  
> its pretty bad, its a sorry excuse, i know if hate, but thATS F I N E
> 
> 1255 words

Matt’s heart nearly stopped as he watched the infamous Shiro walk by the library, glancing in. Matt bit his lip, hiding behind the bookshelf by the window before smiling softly as he went out of view.

“You know,” Keith’s voice made him jump and turn to look at him “between drooling over him, and crying over the fact he’s straight, you might be able to drown yourself by the end of this week”

Matt glared before sighing, walking back to the desk “Very funny burn” he muttered.

“I can’t burn you with water.. Unless of course it was very hot, but tears and saliva i don’t think can burn you unless you heat them, but i’m pretty sure the tears would-”

“Ugh! Can you just help me? Instead of going all science nerd on me..” He frowned, leaning on the front desk.

“Aw, Does Matty patty have a crush on the Garrison’s top exploration pilot?” Keith laughed from behind the counter.

“Shut up or I’ll rat you out to Pidge” Matt muttered.

“You wouldn’t” Keith whispered, blushing softly.

“Hey, if my crush gets revealed because you opened your mouth, your’s is getting revealed by mine” He smirked.

“Ugh” Keith stuck his tongue out at him “God I hate you” He muttered.

“Hate’s a very strong word” Both of them jumped to look at Shiro, carrying a book. Matt blushed before glancing away “You know that little bro” Shiro laughed, rubbing Keith’s head.

“Ugh, fuck off” Keith muttered.

Matt stared at Keith with wide eyes as Shiro laughed and walked away. Matt kept his lip between his teeth until he saw Shiro walked out the door, turning to Keith immediately “Shiro’s your brother?!” He screamed, covering his mouth seconds later “Why didn’t you tell me this?!” He whispered.

Keith groaned “Probably because I’m adopted” He muttered “Besides, we’re not.. Close”

Matt looked at him before smiling softly “But you wanna be”

“Butt out of my life, Matt”

“You just don’t know how-”

“I will rip your throat out”

“Alright! I’m gonna go ahead and go to class! See you later” Matt called out before running to the door Shiro left through. He paused for a second before opening the door, looking to his left to see no Shiro before stepping out.

“Hey, you’re Keith’s friend right?”

Matt jumped, looking to his right to see Shiro, mentally cursing himself for not looking both ways “Uh.. yeah” Matt mumbled, fidgeting with his hands before turning to his left “I’m just gonna.. Go” he mumbled, smiling as he slowly turned, walking down the hall. He looked to his side to see Shiro again, nearly screaming.

“Oh, you’re really jumpy, huh?” Shiro laughed softly, making Matt wish it didn’t feel like his heart was going into cardiac arrest “Mind if I walked you to where you’re going?”

Matt glanced up at him in disbelieve before stopping in his tracks, making Shiro stop and look at him confused “Alright, did Keith tell you something? I bet he put you up to this, I bet he told you everything just so you two could tease me!” Matt frowned “What a great friend he is” he muttered before looking up at Shiro “Look, you’re a nice guy, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I’d rather let things be natural instead of Keith trying to force it”

“Uh..” Shiro still stared at him before clearing his throat “What are you.. Talking about?”

“My- ..Keith didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”

“Uh, nothing” Matt muttered “But, why are you walking with me then?”

“Because you’re Keith’s friend and you seem pretty funny. I also enjoy making friends, it’s hard to make friends who like you for you instead of your status” He smiled.

“Huh” Matt thought. Ironic “Well. I could care less about status” Matt shrugged as he walked.

“I figured” Shiro laughed slightly, following him “But I’m the same way. So.. I’m guess you know my name. What’s yours?”

“..Matthew” Matt mumbled cautiously as if it were a question.

“Whoa” Shiro whispered “Like- Matthew Holt? The person who’s too smart to just be twenty four?”

“What was that about not caring about statuses, again?” Matt mumbled, checking the numbers outside the classrooms, wishing his class would show up. But then again he wanted it to last a while longer.

“I- i don’t, I promise I don’t care who you are-”

“So I’m just a nobody to you?” Matt muttered, stopping to put a hand on his hip like a teen girl. He was obviously teasing, but not so obvious for Shiro.

“No, no!” Shiro blushed a little, standing in front of him “I just meant- whether you were smart or dumb, I wouldn’t-”

“So now i’m dumb?” Matt deadpanned, tilting his head slightly.

“No!” Shiro put up his hands in defense, getting a few people in the hallways attention “..Are you teasing me?”

“Yeah, actually” Matt smiled, watching Shiro smiled and sigh softly.

“You’re a bad influence”

“So is Keith” Matt smiled “You know he asked for a knife yesterday to cut a string off his shirt instead of just ripping it off? Then he offered a knife to me”

“I can’t control him”

“I can’t control myself”

“I trusted you Matt”

“You trust me?” Matt muttered ”Horrible decision, really. I don’t even trust me”

That made Shiro laugh enough to hold his side, gasping for breath “You’re a funny one, you know that, Matt?”

“Thanks, I know” he faked a hair whip before continuing down the hallway.

“Hey-” Shiro caught up to him, still smiling “Maybe we could hang out sometime?”

“Hm? Uh, yeah, I usually sit with Lance at lunch and I noticed you sit with Keith, I can sit with you or you and Keith can come over if you’d like”

“Actually I meant like.. Just us” Shiro scratched the back of his neck, looking away.

Matt smirked a little “Is thee Kashi Shirogane asking me out on a date?”

“Kashi?” Shiro mumbled.

“I can’t say your first name without it sounding weird and I don’t like calling you something everyone else does” Matt shrugs.

“You mean.. You gave me a nickname”

“Sure” Matt smiled widely “I also call you Taka when you’re not around, mostly to Keith though”

“Taka and kashi” Shiro smiled “How do you say?”

“Both names. Taka-kashi Shirogane” Matt blushed, a little embarrassed.

“Taka-kashi?” Shiro smiled before laughing quietly “Well then what’ll I call you?”

“Matt?” Matt smiled awkwardly, stopping in front of his classroom.

“No, no, I want a nickname for you” Shiro smiled “What do you like?”

“Well I like peanut butter.. And peanut butter cookies, just like my sister, but we both hate peanuts. She says they’re so dry but I think they’re just too salty. I’m also always cold. I like sleep. But I never sleep” Matt mumbled.

Shiro laughed and grinned “Do you have like, a favorite food?”

“You’re gonna call me pancakes?” Matt frowned.

“Now that I know it’s pancakes? Definitely”

“I walked into that one”

“You definitely did”

“I’m also gonna walk into here” Matt pointed to his classroom before waving “So. I’ll see you around later”

“I’ll see you around too, pancakes” Shiro smirked before walking away.

Matt groaned softly as the four minute bell went off, walking to his seat next to Lance.

“Did thee Shirogane just call you fucking pancakes?” Lance gaped.

Matt rolled his eyes, laying his head on his desk before smiling widely “Yes.. Yes he did” He whispered happily.


	6. Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh fucking uh,, so short wow uh fucking uh 450 y e a h

Shiro sighed as he heard Matt open the door to their shared apartment. He shared a glance with Keith and nodded. Matt walked in smiling before stopping, slowly down with a frown before smiling a little “You guys look depressed” He mumbled, “Something wrong?” He asks, putting his messenger bag for school down.

“Um.. I’m sorry, Matt” Keith whispered, frowning at Matt.

Matt stared at him confused before shaking his head “What do you mean?” He mumbled, looking down at Shiro on the verge of tears “Kashi.. What’s he talking about?”

“Matt..” Shiro was barely able to his name without it breaking.

Matt frowned and sat next to him, rubbing his arm “It’s okay, hey, i’m here, I promise whatever it is, I can handle this.. Whatever it is you want to tell me” He smiled softly.

“Matt..” Keith frowned.

“I want to tell him” Shiro interjected.

Keith shook his head and crossed his arms “Shiro and I got drunk” Keith whispered.

Matt paused, pulling slowly away from Shiro to put his hands in his lap “But.. that’s not so bad” He smiled, hoping that was the end and the bubbles rising in his stomach would stay subdued until the whole thing blew over in ten minutes.

“Matt. We… got a little carried away” Shiro whispered, unable to look Matt in the eyes.

“Um.. I-I can get over some harmless make out.. I know you didn’t mean it” Matt whispered softly, curling in on himself “It was just making out. No harm done”

“Matt, I know you want to look on the bright side, but.. You have to face the facts. We’re sorry and I promise neither of us wanted it.. I’m so sorry” Shiro whispered, gripping his knees tightly.

Matt sat still, staring at the ground. He knew Shiro said he was staying over at Keith but he wasn’t expecting to come home after this. To find a mess. Unfixable past. Matt blinked once, watching his living room blur around him before he stood up, picking his bag back up, throwing it over his shoulder.

He heard one of them call his name, ignoring it. Someone grabbed his arm before he shoved it away “It’s over!” He screamed, taking a breath as he stopped to breathe slightly “It’s over” He whispered again to himself before turn to leave again. He was successful in slamming the door this time as someone yelled out his name again.

He paused, listening to his heart pound as he leaned on the door before taking a step away from the door, jogging down the steps and back down the sidewalk. He didn’t even know where he was going, but anywhere was better than reality.


	7. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hONESTLY CHAPTER 5 THROUGH 7 ARE JUST BAD INA WHOLE LRUSKDJFHN
> 
> 861 words ew

Matt stayed curled up in Pidge’s room for the next three days, crying silently as she checked on him. She tried to get him to eat a few times but all he did was shake his head or close his eyes. She was confused why he showed up randomly, sobbing and out of breath in the first place, but once Shiro came to the door and asked to see Matt, Pidge knew right away. As soon as she asked what happened, Shiro explained the situation.

Colleen had never slammed a door in someone’s face so hard. They all agreed it was better to keep the two seperated. After a week of Matt not eating anything Pidge called Shiro and finally asked for help.

“What do you mean he needs me?” Shiro mumbled as he was already being dragged through the house and up the stairs.

“He hasn’t moved in a week. I’m not even joking, He’s basically on his death bed because of this” Pidge mumbled, keeping the tears in her eyes.

Shiro frowned as he was lead to her room, taking in the mess first before seeing Matt, frowning deeply.

“He refuses to eat and barely drank anything. He just sleeps and cries lately..” She whispered, her eyes watering “He’s not gonna.. Is he?” Her lip quivered as tears slipped down her cheeks.

“No” he immediately said, crouching down a little “He will, I promise” He whispered “Now get outta here so we have some privacy” He smiled.

Pidge rubbed her eyes before nodded, walking from the room as Shiro closed the door behind her. He immediately made his way to the bed where Matt was sleeping with a pale, puffy face. He frowned, knowing he mad Matt like this. He swallowed, sitting on her bed, reaching a hand up to push his messy and greasy hair from his face.

Matt blinked his eyes open, staring up at Shiro’s face before looking back into the blanket, closing his eyes “Matt.. I know you’re awake.. And I also know you’re not doing okay” He whispered “I’m sorry I messed up. I know, and you don’t have to forgive me, but you have to eat for your sister” He frowned.

He jumped a little when Matt sat up, falling into his chest. Shiro smiled a little, slowly wrapping his arms around him, slow enough to push them away if he wanted. He smiled when he never did, hugging him softly. “I fucking hate you” Matt whispered.

“I know, and you have every right. I fucked up greatly and don’t deserve your forgiveness” Shiro whispered, rubbing his shoulder “I hate myself too” He mumbled, laying his chin on Matt’s head.

Matt let out a sigh through his nose before reaching up to rub his eyes, relaxing into his chest “I don’t really hate you. I just hate that it happened” He muttered.

“I know, and I know a sorry won’t fix it, an apology won’t undo the hurt, and getting back together won’t help, but if you’re not gonna eat without me telling you, then we can’t have space”

“You sounded like a cheesy tumblr quote for a minute” He mumbled after a second, smiling softly against Shiro’s chest.

“You always say I sound like that” Shiro whispered in his hair before lifting his head “Alright, pause serious time, go take a shower”

Matt laughed softly and leaned away from him “Yeah, I should” He whispered before leaning away, climbing off the bed, sliding to the floor “Ow..” He mumbled.

“Haven’t you walked in a week?” Shiro frowned.

“Uh..” Matt paused before smiling up at him “It’s debatable”

Shiro sighed and smiled, climbing off the bed to help him to his feet, gently picking him up “I can’t believe you haven’t gotten out of bed since I fucked up”

“I can” Matt mumbled, resting his head on Shiro’s shoulder before holding onto his shirt “I’m too emotional”

“No.. You had every right to act out” Shiro whispered, making his way to the stairs, catching Pidge’s worrying glance before smiling “I fucked up bad”

“You really did” Matt mumbled into his shoulder “But I forgive you.. I should’ve heard you out and let it go”

“But you were hurt and emotional in the moment and had every right to break things off. I fucked up, and this is how I’m going to pay for it. I-”

“Kashi, my god, shush” Matt muttered, leaning back to stare up at him “It was an accident. If you were in the right mind.. I’d trust that you wouldn’t do anything”

Shiro sat Matt on the bathroom sink, putting his hands on the counter, blocking him in with a deep frown “..I’m so sorry” He whispered, lowering his head with watery eyes “I don’t know how to fix it”

Matt smiled softly, raising a hand to his hair, pulling Shiro’s forehead to his shoulder “You being upset is enough to make me believe you’re sorry. You don’t have to prove yourself anymore”

Shiro sighed softly, moving to hug his waist tightly, holding back a sob “..Are we okay?” He whispered.

“We’re okay” He whispered back, holding him tightly.


End file.
